I’m just so grateful. Beyond grateful, to be exact.
Since 2014, I have had a literal team of angels—here on earth and in spirit—around me, helping guide me through the experiences of the last four years. Regardless of whether or not these folks agreed with my choices, they were there for me. Always.
Obviously, Scott is and has always been my protector, even when that meant he had to let go and have faith I would get through what he knew was mine to get through. No matter how angry he was at me, he still respected and loved me, and wanted me to be OK. He wanted me to be more than OK—for me, for our kids, for life in general, whether that meant we ended up back together or not. That’s true, unconditional love. Turns out, Hallmark doesn’t make cards that say, “Thanks for helping save my soul.” They should, though. And the card should have his photo on it. Scott, you are the best of the best humans on earth. And clearly, my #1 angel on earth. I love you beyond 5.
In the same vein, I would also be handing out thank you cards to my dearest circle of family and friends-who-are-like-family who never gave up on me. They, too, knew that even if I was choosing the cycle of abuse that had become my life, it was because I wasn’t ready or strong enough to end it for good at that moment. Not that I never would be strong enough to end it. They all knew I would learn what I needed to learn, and become the person I’m becoming today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for standing by me through thick and thin, and light and dark. Andy, Egan, Mom and Dad, Lorraine, Cindy B, Theresa B, Krista A, Janine, Caroline H, Kari, Ben, Stacey B, Ari, Cathy S, Katie H, Cami D, Maria Louisa, and Julie and Suzi. Your support, love, compassion, grace, wisdom, channeled messages, and sometimes “tough love” helped me find myself, again. I am eternally grateful and love you all, dearly.
To my soul sisters in the land of “woo woo,” your messages, guidance, perfectly timed channeling was always taken very seriously, and even though it looked at times like I would never come out of it, your gifts helped me heal more than you will ever know. Yvette, Tracy W, Camilla, Cynthia, Necole, and Lynn B, I am in awe of your hearts, your intuition, and your foresight. Yvette, you and Jason—I just truly have no words to properly express my love and gratitude for you both. Yvette, I remember your son in spirit, Jason, pleading with me through you one night, saying, “Kiers, I died because of this type of drug (an analogy to a relationship in his life).” I could feel his desperation so many times and you both guided me out of the dark hole I was desperately trying to climb out of, yet scared to death to climb out of at the same time. I can’t wait to tell the whole story of the magnificent people you both are, and how we came into each other’s lives. Tracy, Camilla, Cynthia, Necole, and Lynn B—my mind is swimming with flashes of so many moments where you would reach out to me at the exact right moments I needed to hear a message, whether it be a channeled one from my grandmother who was kicking my ass while encouraging me to wake up and see the reality of the situation, or you were simply saying “there’s a bigger picture here than you can see now, Kiers. Keep trusting yourself.” Thank you, thank you, thank you. My heart is with you always.
To my wonderful therapists, Deanna Vance and Suzanne Botello—I know I was guided to you. Your heart, intuition, experience, and true belief in me is gift beyond what I ever thought possible. Again, you are angels on earth to so many, and I’m just one of the lucky ones who sat in your therapy chair sometimes twice a week. In the beginning, I was scared to death you would think I was crazy—and you didn’t. Just the opposite happened. You confirmed everything I was feeling and held my hand as I walked step-by-step out of the darkness (and sometimes backwards into the darkness.) You never judged. You made me think deeply and helped me honor all parts of myself. Thank you, for helping me find the light again, and teaching me ways to embrace my darkness, too.
About Deanna Vance, LPC
Deanna Vance is a Licensed a Professional Counselor at the New Leaf Wellness Building. She has over thirty years of experience in varied settings including Community Mental Health, Group Homes, Schools & Private Practice. Deanna specializes in Play Therapy which is a powerful & effective reparative approach for children. Trauma and Attachment problems have been her expertise. She also enjoys working with adolescents and adults.
About Dr. Suzanne Botello, PhD, LPC, Psychologist
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in the Employee Assistance and Wellness Program at Northern Arizona University. I have a PhD in Counseling Psychology, and am a psychology resident, earning supervised work hours toward licensure. I work primarily with staff, faculty, and their families doing individual, group, and couples work. My life is most in balance when I am making art. Having my hands in clay or working in mixed media, using textiles, paper, fiber, old photos, and embellishments, I find myself again and again. My personal mission statement: I help people remember who they are through art, love, and sacred space.
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