One of the hardest parts about being a childhood sexual abuse survivor is trusting memories and/or repressed memories. Doubt enters the mind quite a bit, especially in the beginning as memories/flashbacks bubble up. For me, discovering and trusting intuition coupled with assistance from other spiritual and mental health professionals helped reinforce that what I was coming to grips with was not "just in my head."
Part of my healing journey has involved really tapping into my own intuition and learning to recognize how to differentiate intuition from ego. I am going to share a few tips I've learned along the way but please know, everything surrounding intuition is very individual. I believe intuition is like a road map for life, if we learned to get quiet and listen.
Intuition is subtle. I've learned over the years that my ego mind is much louder than my intuition. When I get an idea that I know is truly stemming from my intuition, a calming feeling comes over me. And the thought/idea will keep coming up over and over, but in a quiet way. My ego mind is much more of a bully and more impulsive. And typically, if i get an idea out of nowhere and there's a sense of urgency and fear around it, I'll know to sit back and wait. If the thought comes back to me in a very calm way, without fear, i'll know it's something I need to pay attention to and act on when I feel the time is right.
Ex. When I was coming up with the idea for Mod Mom Furniture, everyone thought I was nuts. I had no carpentry experience and zero design know-how, yet the idea to start my own furniture company kept pushing me forward and it wasn't panicked. Sure, I was nervous, but deep in my gut, I felt very calm about it. I was excited and felt in my soul, it was something I was being guided to do.
Intuition can produce physical sensations. Sometimes when I'm ignoring the more subtle intuitive thoughts, my body will get my attention. I will feel chills/goosebumps. Sometimes, I'll even feel muscle spasms in different parts of my body. For example, when I start to feel twitching in my knees, it's typically because I'm resisting moving forward in some area of my life. I felt this intensely before I came out with my childhood sexual abuse story. And the minute I published my post, the twitching completely went away. More commonly, we all know the "kick in the gut" feeling and how it literally feels like a heavy punch to the upper stomach. From my studies on the energy systems of the body, that area corresponds with our power center so when you go through something that strips you of your personal power, your body responds physically.
Seeing is believing. Everyone is intuitive but some are more inclined to pick up intuitive information in heightened ways. Most highly sensitive people live in this category and many don't understand what is happening to them. For me, when I started to fully tap into my intuitive side, I was seeing things out of the corner of my eye and questioning my sanity. Ultimately, it was the help of other intuitive healers and spiritual counsel that helped me understand I wasn't going crazy, I was just opening up more to what was always there. Learning to pay attention to signs helped me learn to trust my intuition. A few signs you may notice are....
Other great resources for learning more about intuition:
10 Things Highly Intuitive People Do Differently
How to Recognize True Intuition
Recognizing Your Body's Intuitions About Vibes